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‘We’re like a family here’: why this interview cliché could signal a toxic workplace

If you’ve ever sat in an interview and heard a hiring manager say, “We’re like one big family here,” you might have felt reassured. After all, what could be wrong with a close-knit, supportive workplace?

However according to career experts, this phrase often carries a more troubling subtext — one that could point to overwork, blurred boundaries, and even a toxic culture.

Peter Duris, CEO and Co-founder of Kickresume, an AI-based career hub, says jobseekers should pay close attention to subtle language during interviews, as it can reveal much about a company’s culture and expectations.

“One of the most recognised signs of a toxic workplace is when the hiring manager says something along the lines of the team being like a family,” says Duris. “This might imply that you’ll be expected to constantly go above and beyond and sacrifice your personal time.”

Duris adds that while some genuinely nurturing workplaces do use the “family” metaphor to describe a supportive culture, jobseekers should be cautious if it’s paired with other warning signs — such as vague answers, long hours, or visible stress among employees.

What ‘we’re like a family’ can really mean

Possible Green Flags Possible Red Flags:
A supportive, inclusive culture Pressure to work overtime or “go the extra mile” without reward.
Strong sense of belonging and team spirit Emotional manipulation disguised as loyalty.
Genuine friendships between colleagues Favouritism, cliques, or blurred boundaries.
Managers who offer personal support Pressure to put work above your personal life.

More warning signs to watch for

Duris points out that there are many other interview red flags that can indicate poor management or a weak company culture.
• Rude or dismissive behaviour: If the interviewer turns up late, interrupts you, or seems distracted, it’s often a preview of how employees are treated internally.
• Vague job descriptions: If the interviewer dodges questions about duties or expectations, it could signal disorganisation or unrealistic workloads.
• Hidden pay information: “If a company won’t share the salary details, especially late in the process, it’s a red flag that grows with time,” Duris says. “Transparency about pay should be standard.”
• Stressed or disengaged interviewers: Pay attention to body language. “If the person interviewing you looks exhausted or unenthusiastic, that’s a clear reflection of company morale,” Duris adds.

Another overlooked indicator is staff turnover. Sites like Glassdoor can offer valuable clues. “If you notice consistent reports of high turnover, it’s worth asking why people don’t tend to stay,” he advises.

Not every mismatch means the company is toxic — sometimes it’s just the wrong fit. “For example, if you thrive on independence and flexibility, a highly collaborative or structured environment might not suit you,” Duris explains. “These aren’t red flags, just signs that your working styles may not align.”

Duris also offers advice for candidates hoping to make a strong impression themselves. “Badmouthing a former employer is always risky,” he says. “Even if you had a difficult experience, it’s better to frame it professionally — for example, ‘My last manager had a different leadership style than I’m used to.’”

He adds that interviews are a two-way process: “You’re not just being assessed; you’re assessing them. The best thing you can do is stay observant, ask thoughtful questions, and trust your instincts. A truly healthy company culture won’t need to tell you it’s ‘like a family’ — it’ll show you.”

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